1. The process whereby an organism becomes better-suited to its habitat. 2. The transfer of a written work to a feature film. Pretty straightforward, right? Well, not so much. Year after year we've tried to get this panel up and here it finally fuckin' is. Adapt away, dudes!

Was Shakespeare really in love, or was Gwyneth Paltrow just... hot? When that poet spilled beer on you at her reading, was it really all just part of her art? Are poets nice people to know? Of our all-poet panel, half say yes, half say no.

From Twilight to True Blood, Lost to Six Feet Under – what is it about the serialised narrative that makes us hell-bent on the next fix? Self-confessed HBO hoes unpack serial narrative's (re)rise, share stories of addiction, and slam the sagas that ended with more fizz than bang. XOXO.

We've all seen it. The grossest book in the world. How did the people with training and dollars think you were going to buy that? A panel of judges judges the worst covers they've ever seen, and gives us tips (with moving parts!) on how to avoid their hate.

Girls who like boys who like boys who like girls. Does anyone care anymore? This panel pits die-hard queer arts gurus against a gang of homophobic rednecks. Kidding! They're very cool people who just aren't all that interested in queer art. Co-presented by Critical Animals and the NYWF.

We all love writing, right? So why do we treat it so bad? If you've ever abused an intern, stolen stationery, or passed your frenemy up for promotion, then come on down and hear the pros explain how not to let it happen to you.

People have told you time and again you are the funniest fucker they know. You’re always a hit at dinner parties. But can you shift to page, stage, screen, or fringe circuit? The number of stand-ups in Australia could populate Antarctica. Could you be one of them?

Jonathan Safran Whoer? Nabokov my where, now? Not everyone wants to be an indie superstar. Clean up your wank and ride the mainstream wave to this popular pleasurefest, where like-minded people shamelessly announce: "I subscribe to WHO and listen to commerical FM. And fuck anyone who doesn't!"

SO, you want to make a comic but you don’t know how to draw? Here we discuss the subtle art of convincing someone to draw your story. How to write it, how to pitch it, what to include, and what not to.

Journalism and ethics. Can the two ever co-exist when a commercial or institutional interest is involved? This mega-panel chaired by the president of Sydney PEN examines the ethical health of Australian journalism to find out if there is a truly free press out there somewhere.

Dim the lights and crack out the projector, these globe-trotting travel writers have seen the highs and lows of what writing on the road has to offer. From spotless sun-dappled panoramas to dark corners that should remain unlit: take a trip around the world in 90 minutes.

Pushers of good writing everywhere! Forget SHOULD we sell - ask only HOW. Take some marketing tips and tales from people who have the smarts and the souls. By the time they're through with you, you'll be able to sell the whole thing right back to 'em.

Going out with another creative person would be totally ideal, right? They forgive you when you wake them up at 4.30am after working late on yet another of your all-consuming projects. And they never get jealous or feel neglected, ever, EVER. ... Wait. Let's all double-check this. On a stage.

Editors, Publishers, Curators, and Cool-Kids-In-The-Know talk out their classic writing faux pas. Find out how editors chop, why your work was dropped: the ‘ins’ and ‘outs’ of developing a relationship with the peeps in charge.  From pitching articles to delivering on deadline: this one is a must.

Does Meanjin misunderstand you? Overland drive right by? Voiceworks shove its fingers down your throat and tinker? Wet Ink wait until your work is long dry? Come and meet the new class of literary magazines, as scrutinised by a panel of booksellers, writers, sceptics, and the editors themselves.

Where are my readers and where is my money? And why is my writing course so full of hacks? A two-pronged inquiry into what writing courses are like, and where to take your walk of shame once they've loved and left you.

Writers discuss their thinly-veiled works which were actually based on real people. We explore what happened when the subject discovered they were being written about, and whether their friendship lasted the fallout. As a writer, how do you navigate this ethically fraught, emotionally risky facto-fictional terrain?

Zine-making's creative and personal rewards mean the artform is increasingly attractive to educational and cultural organisations. Panelists who straddle both worlds discuss their successes and failures in trying to reconcile their joy of zine-making with an organisation's needs.

Do you ever love as violently as when you're 17? Do you still relish the books of your youth, or are they hidden shamefully in the back of the bookshelf? The HOTTEST young fiction writers around share their own first loves. You know what that means: nostalgia party! Wooooo!

Politics of race are tackled head-on in this take-no-prisoners panel that unpacks what it means to write black stories as a non-Indigenous person. Who makes the rules? Where is the line? Or does it really matter whether you're black or white?

So you've dabbled in mini-masterpieces and now everyone’s wanting you to beef up, go BIG. How do you begin piecing together research? How does a novel happen? Writers discuss how they bridged the gap between ‘Uh-oh’ and ‘Opus’.